BIPOLAR SOBER / TOOLBOX / COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS
A THOUGHT CAN FEEL TRUE
WITHOUT ACTUALLY BEING TRUE.
Cognitive distortions are patterns of thinking that can twist the way we interpret ourselves, other people, and what's happening around us.
They're convincing because they don't usually arrive sounding ridiculous. They arrive sounding like the obvious explanation.
YOUR BRAIN SAID IT.
THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT EVIDENCE.
What did I just tell myself?
Is there a cognitive distortion hiding in there?
What evidence actually supports this thought?
Is there another explanation that also fits the facts?
What would a more accurate thought sound like?
Everything becomes one extreme or the other. Success or failure. Good or bad. Sober forever or completely fucked.
THE THOUGHT
"I fucked this up, so I've ruined everything."
CHECK IT
Did one mistake actually erase everything that happened before it?
TRY INSTEAD
"I fucked something up. Now I have to decide what I do next."
Your brain skips past every ordinary possibility and heads straight for the worst possible ending.
THE THOUGHT
"This happened, so everything is about to fall apart."
ASK
What do I actually know right now — and what am I predicting?
You decide what somebody else thinks or feels without actually having evidence.
THE THOUGHT
"They think I'm a disaster."
ASK
Did they actually say that, or did my brain write their dialogue for them?
You predict an outcome and start reacting emotionally as though it has already happened.
THE THOUGHT
"They're going to reject me anyway."
ASK
Is this something I know, or something I'm afraid might happen?
Feelings are real. But a feeling is not automatically proof that the story attached to it is accurate.
THE THOUGHT
"I feel hopeless, so this situation must actually be hopeless."
ASK
What am I feeling — and separately, what do I actually know?
Rigid rules about how you or other people are "supposed" to behave can turn disappointment into shame, guilt, resentment, or anger.
THE THOUGHT
"I should have my shit together by now."
ASK
According to fucking whom?
Labeling takes a behavior, mistake, diagnosis, or experience and turns it into your entire identity.
THE THOUGHT
"I failed, so I'm a failure."
TRY INSTEAD
"Something went badly. That's information about what happened, not a complete definition of me."
Something goes right and your brain immediately explains why it doesn't count.
THE THOUGHT
"Yeah, I did it, but it wasn't that hard."
ASK
If somebody else did this, would I dismiss it this quickly?
You take responsibility for things that aren't entirely within your control.
ASK
What part of this actually belongs to me? What belongs to somebody else? What belongs to circumstances nobody controlled?
One bad experience becomes evidence for a giant rule about your life.
THE THOUGHT
"This always happens to me."
LOOK FOR
Always. Never. Everyone. Nobody. Everything. Nothing.
Absolute words are a good clue that your brain may have taken one piece of evidence and gotten a little fucking ambitious.
Your attention locks onto the negative piece of an experience and filters out everything that doesn't fit it.
ASK
What information am I leaving out because it doesn't match how I currently feel?
Distorted thinking can become especially convincing when your brain wants permission to do something impulsive or return to an old behavior.
Write the thought down. Read it back. If you can, say it out loud.
Sometimes a thought that sounded incredibly convincing inside your head looks a whole lot different once it's sitting in front of you.
What is the thought?
What facts support it?
What facts don't support it?
Am I assuming something I can't actually know?
What would I tell somebody else who had this thought?
What is a more accurate version of the thought?
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOUR BRAIN PRODUCES.
The goal isn't positive thinking. It's more accurate fucking thinking.
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